It My Pish

Written by: Daniel Uy
Date: July 13, 2011

Many would think of Clark and Subic as Fontana or Anvaya, and of course, the Tursips truncatus shows. Unknown to many, these former military bases provided security to the Philippines for decades. We would have enjoyed Uncle Sam’s security if not for the anti-American sentiment of the nationalists, or as I’d like to call, “the NPA,” New People’s Army, who would rather go hungry than eat their pride. It has been a good 20 years, since the Americans have left. If only time could turn back to reverse this departure now that the Middle Kingdom is on the rise, then maybe we wouldn’t be in this mess right now.

It is ironic that China wants to be known as the gentle giant, but in truth, they are actually an international bully, who eat fistfights for lunch. Believe it or not, China has had territorial disputes with Japan, South Korea, India, Malaysia, Brunei, Vietnam, and many more. The Philippines is no exception. The tension brought about by Chinese alleged incursions has rattled our otherwise peaceful region.

The Chinese have lately been asserting their claim in what is viewed as an act of aggression. A total of nine intrusions were made under the guise of routine activities. One notorious incident was that between a Chinese patrol boat attacking Filipino fishermen. According to Chinese Navy rules of engagement, the Chinese would only fire retaliatory attacks. If this were true, then it would mean that the fishermen fired first. But with what? Alepes melanoptera? Galunggong? Fish? Then maybe, the Guinness Book of World Records should document the world’s first “fish-gun.” After all, the last thing we Filipinos need is a shortage on galunggong.

The galunggongs supposedly came from the South China Sea, the body of water located west of the country. Because of these incidents on the Spratly Islands, there was a sudden rush in renaming the South China Sea to the “West Philippine Sea.” The aggressive actions have brought about numerous diplomatic protests from the Philippines, Vietnam, and even as far wast as the United States. They’re just really pissing off a lot of people.

I could state all the legal jargon about how anything within the 200 nautical mile zone is part of a country’s EEZ, but I guess the important point here is that we’re closer to the Spratly Islands than they are. You don’t even need your Casio’s to prove that. It’s common knowledge that we’re closer to the Spratly Islands, but proximity isn’t the basis for claims, now is it? That’s what my history teacher has been saying. China claims that it, too, follows the rules like the UNCLOS, but of course, for this to happen, then China must own an island between them and the Spratly Islands, if such an island did “exist” of course. In addition, China also bases its claim on historical evidence dating hundreds or thousands of years old, that they discovered the islands first. Such claims can be questionable though. It just so happens that China is also the world’s leading forger of Nike, Louis Vuitton, Rolex, and who knows, even artifacts.

Land-wise or people-wise, it seems as if we don’t stand a chance in the event of war between our countries. Just like how Ms. Jessica Zafra says, “we’re a bunch of useless dweebs, right”? However, the battle for annexation of islands is no longer fought through military might, but through brains – politics and diplomacy, and in this arena, I’m pretty sure that Juan dela Cruz will be at the vantage point. China may have all the weapons they can possess, but we have a good shot at winning this “war,” without the need of even firing a single piece of dilis.

What is it that we’ve got, that the Chinese don’t have? It’s not Manny Pacquiao. It’s not jeepneys. It’s Uncle Sam, a.k.a. “Big Brother.” He’s always there to support us. If we didn’t have enough military might to thwart an invasion or occupation, Uncle Sam would make sure that this would not even happen in the first place. When the U.S. started to get “involved” in this controversy, China reacted and even warned the other countries not to put their hands into the regional dispute. But no matter how China twists the rules to their favor, Uncle Sam will always somehow get involved in the end.

The recent tensions have obviously been a very controversial issue in the region, but it will eventually fall short of a war. One can only imagine a war being born in the realm of fantasies. The fight may just die down one day, and it may eventually get resolved, but for those who look forward to seeing World War III, they can expect nothing more than a video game, with Juan throwing all the galunggongs at his opponents: “it my pish”!